The following article was written by a student at Center High School who is active in their anti-bullying campaign. The author hopes to spread hope and encouragement to others from her experience in an unhealthy and abusive relationship. As she says,
... there are too many great fish in the sea to settle for anything less than the best.”
It has been said, “You don’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.” Every choice you make can profoundly impact your future. Make sure that you have a clear defined roadmap that will help you achieve your planned destination as an adult. When choosing your partner, or as they say it now, “Your other half”, have those boundaries set. Have what you want as a husband or wife set in stone. Whatever step of intimacy you want to put your wedding bell on, lay it and hold it as a promise to yourself.
Life is Like an Etch-a-Sketch
After being with, as I thought he was, “my other half, my partner for life” for a year and a half, I was manipulated into thinking he was mine and I was his forever. I let my feelings and the chemical of Oxytocin take over my bright, thought-out future. I ended up tripping over and skipping the ordered steps of intimacy. The bad thing in this case was that he took a time that was thought to be amazing and precious and turned it into the most humiliating tragedy in my life.
Now that I am thankfully out of that abusive relationship, I can only be thankful for the strength I have gained, and the positive influence I can have on the lives of other people, and reduce the possibility of my awful story happening to anyone else. If you are one who has already fell in the crack of love, think of your mistakes as an etch-a-sketch, take a moment and shake it and start new. You can’t change yesterday, but you can greatly use yesterday as a mirror of something that you want to see differently. Always remember life is a beautiful thing.
Security, Love, Happiness, Worthiness... Not Too Much to Ask
It never has made sense to me that when a girl has sex she becomes something dirty, she is not dirty, she is just someone who made a sad mistake and is strong enough to prove that she is nothing smaller than any other person. But for some reason when a guy has sex, he is praised; it is like if a guy uses a girl for power, sadly it works. It urcks me to know that the society we live in today is filled with people causing unbearable pain to others. I just wish that at least girls would be there for girls, but in this world sadly that is sometimes too much to ask for.
When having your other half, you should always feel security, love, happiness, worthiness, and self control. As much as yes, be together, but always have that ability to stand with friends and family apart from the one you’ll one day marry. There are too many great fish in the sea, to settle for anything less than the best. Here is a good luck from me to you.
Everyday thousands of women and men fall victim to domestic violence, which includes:
- An act or threat of violence that restricts the activity and independence of another individual. It can include physical, sexual and psychological attacks, and economic control. Any of these acts may include a violation of a protection order previously issued. (97% of victims are female, but males can also be victims).
- Isolation - controlling your activities, not allowing you to see family or friends, not allowing you to go anywhere alone or becoming very angry when you do.
- Threats - to leave you, harm you, commit suicide, take the children, kill you, or intimidate through looks and gestures , destroy your personal property or pets.
- Verbal/Emotional Abuse - put-downs, name callings, minimizing your feelings, blaming others you, humiliating you, jealousy, accusations of infidelity.
- Physical and Sexual Abuse - hits, shoves, pushes you or your children when they try to help you, forces sex, jokes about his affairs, withholds affection.
- Predominant aggressor means the main abusive partner of the relationship. To identify predominant aggressor you must take into account past history of abuse, the likelihood of inflicting future injuries, and possibility that one person was not acting in self-defense.
Tu Casa Can Help
If your not sure if you are in an abusive relationship, take their quick quiz to find out. Learn more about:
- Domestic Violence Myths
- Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
- Effects of Domestic Violence on Children
- Preventing Domestic Violence
- Why Victims Stay
- If You Suspect Domestic Violence
- Relationships: Healthy vs. Unhealthy
- Abuse in LGBTQ Relationships
- Common Responses to Trauma
For additional support, contact Tu Casa at email@example.com or call their 24-hour hotline at 719-589-2465.